Roommate relationships can go a multitude of ways.
People end up being the best of friends, they can’t stand each other or they just tolerate the other person with no real relationship.
Of course everyone wants the first scenario to happen, especially since most people don’t know anyone their first week.
But, if your roommate situation has been moving the opposite direction, here are a few ways to cope.
Number 1: Talk it out
This is the first thing you should do!
Most roommate issues can be solved with a quick conversation – just a few simple words to the other person.
Approach the situation as calmly as possible, keeping any anger and aggression out of the conversation.
State what your problem is, how you think it should be addressed, keeping an open mind about your roommate’s perspective.
And please….don’t leave passive aggressive notes. Nobody likes those, and they never work the way you want them to.
Number 2: Get some help
Talking to a friend, or even your R.A. could give you some helpful advice if the first approach didn’t work out.
Although it sounds a little like you can’t handle things on your own, getting an R.A. involved can be the trick that some problems need.
Many dorms require roommates to submit a roommate agreement, and those are hard to enforce on your own sometimes.
Definitely get help with your roommate if you think you need it.
And don’t worry about “getting your roommate in trouble” by asking your R.A. for help. Most R.A.’s are very understanding and helpful.
Remember, they are students too and aren’t out to get anyone!
Number 3: If nothing else works, move out.
Although it sounds drastic, this happens all of the time and I have seen it more times than I can count. I’ve witnessed people move at the end of the semester and I’ve seen people move in the middle of the week.
People have moved their entire lives out of a dorm within an hour to get away from their roommate.
Moving out is always an option if you talk to your residential services program and your R.A.
Being comfortable with where you live and whom you live with is really important in college. If you don’t feel comfortable where you are, college will be much harder for you, both socially and academically.
Don’t be afraid to ask to move out of your room or even your entire dorm if you think it will make you feel better. Campuses usually have a few options for students to consider if things aren’t working for them where they are.
And one thing to remember: you are not the only one with these problems. So many people have gone through bad roommate situations and will after you. You are not alone and it’s definitely not a big deal.
I promise, one day you will look back on your bad roommate days and laugh.
Need Money to Pay for College?
Every semester, Fastweb helps thousands of students pay for school by matching them to scholarships, grants, and internships, for which they actually qualify. You'll find high value scholarships like VIP Voice's $5,000 Scholarship, and easy to enter scholarships like Niche $2,000 No Essay Scholarship, and internships with companies like Apple, Google, Dreamworks, and even NASA!
Join today to get matched to scholarships or internships for you!
First the admission and then the interview process but this is still not the end of your college struggle. One more challenging situation is yet to be unfolded and that is the new roommate. Yes, most of the students have anxiety and numbers of questions occupy their mind like: “How will he/she be”? “Can we get along well?” “What if she is not my type”? You are occupied with a number of thoughts with every step that you take towards your room. Though the situation is tough but trust me, having a roommate can be a rewarding and a pleasing experience. Here are few tips that will help you make in living with your roommate. Try these tips out and you will surely get a friend for the lifetime.
1. Keep Communication:
When you first meet your roommate make sure you initiate the communication. Greet politely and in a friendly manner. Don’t be rude, tough or egoistic. Communicate every single time. Don’t be moody. You need to spend months with your roommate, so it’s always commendable to share your information, experiences and achievements. Ask about the same to your roommate.
This way you will know each other better. Moreover you will not end up distracting or disturbing one another. A reduced amount of communication results in fight, misunderstanding and hatred. You may unknowingly do those activities that your roommate completely dislikes and vice-versa. So it’s always important to communicate in order to maintain a healthy relationship.
2. Solve Problems when they are small:
If any problem persists, immediately clear out. Suppose: You are studying while your roommate is listening to music in high volume. Don’t just leave the room in annoyance. Tell your roommate that the music is bothering you. Likewise, if you are doing something that is bothering your roommate resolve the issue immediately. Don’t create a huge sack of problems.
3. Don’t Use Stuff without asking:
Don’t use your roommate’s stuff without requesting for it. If you want to use anything, even a notebook or a pen or any other thing, first ask your roommate. If she agrees to it, only then use the stuff. Request and respect her decision. If your roommate answers “No”, don’t bump anger on her. Be positive and say yourself “it’s ok”.
4. Share Eatables:
Don’t eat alone. Always offer your roommate whatever you eat. Sharing develops a good bond. It is also the initiation of a good friendship.
5. Be Careful while Inviting anyone:
Be it your college friend or relatives, ask your roommate whether she is comfortable before inviting any new faces. If you still want to invite your friends, you can sit and plan with your roommate for alternating schedule i.e. days of a week you are inviting your friends.
6. Make a List of do’s and don’ts:
It is always better to keep an agreement than to fight on small matters. So once you are able to have open communication with your roommate, make sure to make a list of things that can be done and those that are strictly prohibited. This way you don’t end up interfering with each other’s private space.
7. Safeguard your Room:
It’s not only your roommate duty to keep track of fan, light or door. You need to be careful while entering and leaving the room. Make sure to switch off the lights and fan and lock the door properly while leaving. Remind your roommate to do the same as well.
8. Keep a Record of Common Expenses:
Money is the major reason of fight between roommates. So always be active enough to record common expenses in order to split them at the end of a month. Ask your roommate to do the same in order to avoid any misunderstanding.
9. Replace the Necessary Things:
If anything is used up, don’t wait for your roommate to refill them. If you have time and if you are free; fill up all the necessary things.
10. Be a Participant, not the Audience:
If you are busy studying or doing your assignment work, it’s ok to take some hours of time but doesn’t be an audience the entire day. Don’t keep watching all the work that your roommate is doing. Just take some minutes of break and help her do required activities in rooms: like cleaning common selves, book rack, drawers, arranging things, etc. If you are doing the same, ask your roommate to help you.
11. Leave a message whenever Required:
If you are out for a day or if you are late, make sure you inform your roommate. Exchange your numbers so that you can call or text whenever required.
These are few things that you must keep in check to develop a good relationship with your roommate. We have gathered all these points from them who had this experience. You need to stay with your roommate until the time you are in the same college. So make the bond strong so that you can add a new experience to your college life.
Are you having difficulty in getting along with your roommate? Apply these points and see the change you experience.
college life, college tips, student tips